A Day in the Life of a Foster Parent in Virginia: Real Stories and Experiences
Becoming a foster parent is not easy, but it is worthwhile. Foster parents are vital in the lives of children needing protection and care in Virginia, as in other states. Every foster parent has their own story, but most face similar difficulties and have similar happy and significant life events.
This article takes you through a day in the life of a foster parent in Virginia as narrated by real foster families. From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night, their stories depict the joys and sorrows, the smiles and tears that children experience in their lives due to the caregivers caregivers.
A Day in the Life of a Foster Parent in Virginia
1. Beginning Each Day with a Schedule and a Plan
Most foster children wake up to a new day without knowing what it will hold for them. The child may have gone through some form of trauma, instability, or neglect before being introduced to care. This is why creating a schedule the child can rely on is key to being a foster parent.
Julie and Mark, foster parents in Richmond, Virginia, demonstrate how they wake up early to make their foster children feel protected. "I wake up around 6:30 AM to prepare for the day. My foster child, Emily, has been living with us for some time now, and she used to have anxiety in the morning. I ensure that she knows what is expected of her next. For instance, Julie says, 'We have breakfast together, discuss what we will undertake for the day, and make some goals.
Foster parents need to establish some kind of daily routine. For instance, when the child gets dressed for school or dresses up for the day, it makes the child feel normal, even if he or she is a new family member.
2. Arranging School Drop Offs and Appointments
Foster parents are often left to manage school drop-offs, medical appointments, and therapy appointments after taking their breakfast and preparing for the new day. Foster children may require more frequent visits to the doctor, counselor, or therapist than other children due to previous abuse or other issues.
David, a foster father from Alexandria, says, "In the morning, it is all about school, getting the children ready for school." I have two foster kids, both 7 and 10 years old, who are ready to go to school. I make sure that they have everything they need with them. Sometimes, there are doctor's appointments or therapy sessions after work, so one has to be busy."
It is useful to have someone who can help with appointments and responsibilities, such as social workers, family members, or other foster parents. Foster parents are known to have one another's backs and seek support from each other, especially on matters related to children's health and education.
3. Supporting the Individual and Maintaining Stability
Emotional needs of foster children can also be one of the most difficult aspects of foster parenting. Foster kids may have some psychological issues caused by abuse, neglect, or the loss of their natural parents. Foster parents are essential in comforting and assisting children in forgetting such harrowing incidents.
Cynthia, a foster carer in Norfolk, says that being a foster carer is not only about offering shelter. I do my best to hear people and listen to what they say. Often, foster children cannot share how they feel or what they went through, but when they do, it is such a big thing," opined Cynthia. Sometimes, it is as easy as sitting with them on the couch after school and asking, 'How was your day?' Sometimes it is not as traumatic, and we must handle feelings of rejection or fear."
For foster parents, hearing a child out and being there for them can be a source of hope in a child's life. Most foster parents will notice that their child slowly begins to gain confidence and starts to develop trust.
4. Involvement in After School Activities
When school is over, other activities follow the students one by one. Some foster kids require special attention to homework, attitude, or even how to interact with other people. As foster parents, one may supplement the child's education needs by doing homework or going to the school to meet the teacher to assess and discuss the child's progress.
It means I get the children from school at 3 o'clock and then go straight into doing the homework. My son Zach, for instance, could not concentrate when he joined us in Charlottesville; thus, we tried to break down tasks. We also go to the after-school soccer practice or the park according to the children's energy. They need to be given a chance to be children, no matter what happens to them.
It is often during the afternoons that foster parents have to attend school work and extra-curricular activities, as well as try to build a relationship with the children in their care.
5. Child Protective Services and Visits with Family Members and Social Workers
Visits from birth families are a touchy subject in the foster care system. Foster parents, with the help of social workers, birth parents, and sometimes the court, have to help the child return to the birth parents. Such visits may be very demanding on the child and the foster parent.
Heather, a foster parent from Virginia Beach, says: "There is a lot of interaction between the social worker and me." We talk about the child's development, and occasionally, I have to explain to the child that they will be visiting their birth parents. This is a very sensitive matter of supporting the child's birth parents on the one hand and being there for the child on the other hand."
As for foster parents, they should never forget that the child has his or her relationship with the biological family, but at the same time, the child needs a stable and secure environment during this turbulent period.
6. Evening Routines and Bedtime
The evening routine is an essential part of the day for children in care. It becomes a chance to relax, ponder, and understand what has occurred in the day. It is also very common for children in foster care to have problems sleeping, have nightmares, or have other fears, and foster parents have to be very understanding of that.
For Mark and Julie, bedtime is a time for relaxation. After dinner, we read or share our day experiences and then retire to bed. Emily has some difficulty sleeping, so I sit with her until she sleeps to protect her.
It is common for foster parents to do everything they can to ensure that they create a comfortable environment for children, especially at a time when other children are feeling uncomfortable.
7. Looking Back at the Day and Forward to the Next Day
Foster parents look at how far they have come, what they have gone through, and how their foster children have developed. It is also a time to get ready for the next day, as fostering can sometimes be an emotional journey.
David sums it up: In the end, all I can do is be grateful. It is difficult, but everything is fine when my children smile and feel appreciated. Fostering is a full-time job, but it is also the best thing I have ever done."
Conclusion
Foster parenting in Virginia can be a unique and rewarding experience, although it may be a hardship. Foster parents are not only people who care for the child but also friends, supporters, and a reliable person for the child in need. It's through their day-to-day activities, such as getting the children ready for school, preparing and serving them meals, ensuring they take their naps, bathing, and putting them to bed, that they give the children a sense of security and stability that they may have lacked in their previous homes.